I have to admit that I’ve never been all that keen on woolen mittens, raindrops on roses and cream coloured ponies. Doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles would likewise not enter the top ten of Conortje’s favourite things. Brown paper packages however is a different story altogether. And I’ve got one.
My birthday is still a week and a half away (more about that at a later date no doubt) but my mum has already sent a gift my way. She’s away from home for the next while and didn’t want me to feel unloved on the day itself so decided to get in there early and sent me a package before she left. And it arrived yesterday through the letter box with a big thunk as it landed. Immediately began my dilemma. Do I tear off the paper straight away in the excitement of it all or do I muster up all the patience within and keep it for the day itself? I’d put it in my denial drawer but alas there isn’t enough room any more.
The problem with waiting is that my imagination is going to run wild. Each time I pass it I am imagining what might lurk underneath the crisp brown paper. Knowing my mother it’s almost definitely a book but the imagination is not a vehicle for logic so I have begun to imagine all sorts of wonders like flat packed cars, shrink wrapped Armani suits, wads of 100 euro notes. ..
The longer I leave it the bigger the chance of disappointment there is. So what should I do?
I’d say open it, only because I have no willpower.
Open it. If it’s something terrible then you have more time to practice the ‘Thanks! It’s just what I wanted.’
If it’s something good then you have more time to use it/play with it/spend it/wear it etc.
I’m a soppy traditionalist when it comes to birthdays – it should be opened on the day and not before, young man! Yes you might be disappointed after all your imaginings but then you might be disappointed if you open it now. Except that my guess is it’s definitely books so you’ll be pleased.
Hmmm two to one so far.
hellojed – willpower has never been my friend either – in fact I find it very overrated. But I also like opening presents on mybirthday. Hmmm
twenty – This is very good point indeed. Lots of time to try and knock the sad tone from my voice before I announce how wonderful the gift was.
nick – I could always open it and rewrap it and open it again on my birthday. That way it’s almost like getting two presents.
Don’t open it. Shake it, squeeze it, dance on it but don’t open it.
Any we all know what it will be ___ a new jumper that fits.
Sorry to spoil the fun
If it’s a PS3 can I have it?
Anyway, keep it till your birthday – mine’s in June and I know I’m getting an electric guitar but I still can’t wait for it.
I think you know where I sit on this particular issue. But just to ensure there’s no misunderstanding: open the parcel at your peril.
I will not be responsible for my actions if I discover some brown paper stuffed down the side of the sofa and a guilty smile playing on your lips.
Mind, considering your advance age, perhaps she’s sent you something to help with the more difficult chores around the house. Like walking.
This is as exciting as a fast moving all ireland final. Four votes to two to not open it.
Grannymar – hehehe if my mother read my blog I might actually have expected that
Dario – so no surprise for you? I’d be well chuffed if mine was a guitar. Mind you it would have to be an inflatable one I am afraid.
Jovica – Speaking of having problems walking – my old age is bringing with it clairvoyant powers and I see that you will shortly be incapable of this very same task.
Why wait? I always open packages as soon as they come so I don’t have to think about it.
Hope it’s wads of Euros, but sounds more like a book.
Re: open it / rewrap it / open it again. But that way you might be disappointed twice. The gloom might be too much to bear.
Wait. Treat yourself on your birthday. Don’t spoil the surprise. Just imagine your face when you unrap all those wads of €100 notes!
Socks. Has to be socks. Mothers always send socks. Oh, and maybe some teabags – Barrys of course.
Medbh – I think perhaps a part of me is worrying about whether or not I will get more – I’d hate to be left packageless on my birthday
Nick – Hehehe yes well if it’s great I’ll be very excited and pleased twice – if it’s rubbish I’ll be prepared the second time I open it
Blarneyman – I’m trying hard to imagine my mother’s face having all this cash and wrapping it up for my birthday – if only…
Primal – socks and tea? Say it ain’t so. Ah shite, what if it is?
Oh no, not just socks and tea. There’ll be hankies too.
It’s kitten whiskers. Lots and lots of kitten whiskers.
God, I hate the Sound of Music.
Happy early birthday.
Phew Primal I was getting worried that it would be completely rubbish.
Sassy – now that would really be an original present!
open it…i can’t believe you had to ask! life is too short not to open presents immediately..or eat dessert first…and hello
Open a corner and peep in, it will be apparent if it is a book or euros but either way you wont know which book or how many euros so you still ge a surprise on your birthday. Am I sitting on the fence here, cos I can feel splinters penetrate my ass!
Savannah – What if it is some sort of dessert – then I’d absolutely definitely totally have to rip it open and devour it instantly
Ellie – you are very sensible indeed. I like this advice very very much! Fences can be very useful don’t forget!
and how delicious would that be? i celebrate my birthday for an ENTIRE month! and then..on 31dec..the entire world does, too
O-P-E-N-T-H-E-B-O-X!!!!
Ha! I assume, since this dialogue has been going on for a while, that you didn’t open the present immediately and that the open-it-later camp has prevailed. Or have you secretly opened it, found it what it is, and you’re keeping the rest of us in suspense?
My very wise English teacher always said – ‘Never assume anything’
Well the votes are currently (as far as I can see) six say open it and five say don’t. It remains wrapped up but I will make the final decision tomorrow!
If only to level the peggings, I say don’t open it.
Instead, to fend off the feeling of non will power, go out and buy yourself stuff like I always do, days before my birthday
Open it. The Spouse Sparrow’s birthday is on Tuesday, and his sister sent him a small package from Northern Ireland. He was so excited, until he opened it up and found out that it was candy; a type of candy that their other brother likes. Ooops.
So open it now to get the disappointment out of the way and practice your “Thank you.”
Oh, she also sent him $150, so it wasn’t a complete waste.
And happy early birthday, by the way.
Don’t open it! It’s nice to have a pressie from your ma to unwrap on the day. Besides, the anticipation may well be gearing you up for disappointment, but the anticipation is often the fun bit. Prolong it, I say.
In case any of these naughty, impatient people have pressured you into opening the present, let me reiterate the warning.
I WILLL be checking the state of the parcel at regular intervals until your birthday.
And you know what – you don’t look half bad for someone about to turn 25.
OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN the feckin thing.
Open it. A week and a half is a very long time and you could get run over by a bus and never know what the mysterious package contained…
Don’t open it. You must flight the instant gratification impulse.
(You have already opened it, haven’t you…..)
OK – so we can assume it’s not Tayto, which must be eaten as close to production time as possible, so no rush in opening.
“denial drawer” love it am so borrowing that !
Oh my god. I can’t believe you EDITED me!
Foul Play! Censorship!
That’s cost you present points and no mistake!
Jovica – I can’t imagine what you mean – you’re aged eyes must be deceiving you
Flirty – aw not fair – I want taytos now. You can’t get salt ‘n’ vinegar crisps at all in Holland
Enda- how could doubt me so?
Kav – not a patient man are ya hehehe
Caro – If I do get run over now I will feel awful
Alan – I did as it turned out – new pair of shoes and Rufus’ new CD
Sparrow – $150? not bad at all – I seriously need to talkk to my sisters about the effects of inflation
Fionat – I like your way of thinking
Hey Conor, my friend who let you use his X-ray machine today said it’s ok if you just buy him a beer one day. Oh, and happy early birthday. Did you like the colour?
hidh – I will happily buy your friend a beer – you on the other hand will be getting a nice cool glass of arsenic. with a slice of lemon of course.
Sorry. I’m late. I say open it.
I’ll probably not be around for your big day, so early happy birthday.
That’s very nice, I love you too
minge – thanks – I’ll let you know what it was
hidh – hug?
OK!
Wait, why are you holding a knif… arrrrrgrggghh…
knife? course not – I’m just happy to see you.
I meant the knife in your hand, not the one in your pocket!
(says hidh’s ghost from the purgatory)
(by the way, it looks like they are taking down the limbo next door – has it been abolished or something, recently?)