Well it had to happen eventually didn’t it? I just knew if I hung out long enough my star would rise and I would be plucked out of Conorland obscurity and set loose in the real world. You see one rainy evening in August (has there been any other type this summer?) I was approached to be interviewed, and no not by the police thank you very much (they haven’t quite tracked me down as yet). Finally my little slice of brilliance has been recognised.
This has of course set me in a blind panic. So much to do! I will clearly need a manager. A book deal can surely not be far behind and then film rights to be contended with. I will need to redecorate before I get the inevitable phone call from Hello magazine . Probably going to need a stylist and a personal trainer too. And lots and lots of champagne just to get through it all.
The interview in question? Well it’s from this wonderful up and coming site all about expats. I too had never heard of it before but that’s beside the point as they are clearly oozing taste and sophistication. I expect it to be the most popular website in the world ever before the year is out. After my interview I am personally refusing to even get out of bed for anything less than a full-fat milk cappuccino!
Yes I can sense all you doubting Thomases from here but you can make your own mind up after reading the interview here. Now I’m off to check my phone reception. Obviously the network is flooded as I haven’t received any calls yet for follow up articles. Only a matter of time though… right?
I love how you compare Irish v Dutch prices by using the Baileys example!
Can I have your autograph?
P.S. I’ve two famous friends now
Congrats on the impending stardom and stuff. I thought your interview was well balanced (were you sober at the time?) and informative. I’d like a signed photo if possible?
The mists are clearing in my crystal ball and I predict a career as a columnist or other media wit.
When will you be having photos taken of you in your gracious drawing room? Will you lie about your age?
For some inexplicable reason, the idea of you cycling everywhere with long hair puts me in mind of a latter-day Lady Godiva. I presume you are fully-clothed whilst parading yourself through The Hague?
You can expect a call from Endemol pretty soon then.
Alan – well I had to talk about the important things surely
So basically you’re admitting to being a groupie?
theswissjob – I was indeed relatively sober mores the pity. I’ll add you to the mailing list for photos and other fan club paraphernalia
Jovica – I like the idea of being a media wit. I wonder what that involves. So long as I wouldn’t have to get up early I’m all for it.
73man – They’re taking an awfully long time getting in touch. Perhaps they have my number wrong. I wonder if I shouldn’t call them to speed things up.
Yea you should, and over them your kidneys. They’ll be on to you like a shot then.
I only have the one kidney though so I’d be afraid they’d take me up on the offer!
OOoh yes, offer a kidney! Offer a kidney!
Groupie?
Why of course!
I’ll be throwing frilly knickers at you next
Well of course nobody’s got in touch yet because they’re having long discussions about the best vehicle for you – sitcom, chat show, travel doc, reality TV – such a difficult decision. I’m sure they keep dialling your number and then getting an Even Better Idea and breaking off to optimise it. Of course you’re in a sitcom, darling – I’m always agog to hear the next gripping instalment. Will he forget the proper bin day? Will a precious possession fall off the balcony? I just have to know every detail….
Jovica – remind me why I’m friends with you again?
Alan – frilly? Really? I’d never have guessed
Nick – Hmm you seem to be very wise in this field. Very wise indeed. How would you like to be my manager?
My best friend was born with 4 kidneys (he must have the most amazingly clean blood). My manager could arrange things if you want.
Great interview darling! Won’t be long before everyone knows your face and will be fondling your legs on planes. Loved the site so much I put my own interview up too.
What jolly japes! There’ll be no talking to you now ha ha!
You’ve no choice?
Well… at least without payment you’ve no choice…
Check you out! Well done, but I thought it would be more hard hitting. I still don’t know what your favourite colour is or where you get your shirts. And your views on Mika are still a mystery. Send in Jeremy Paxman, he’ll get the answers outta you me boy….
Cool interview. Can I have your autograph?
That is a very good interview – the things I have learnt about you!! One question though why have I not been taken to plein 79 is it near that damn castle?
lenfercest – 4? That’s just downright greedy. It’s just not fair. Sulk.
emma – I’d best buy a special pair of sexy shorts to be ready
enda – Jolly japes indeed! I’m going to be impossible aren’t I. Maybe I should get one of those horrible tiny dogs to bring about everywhere in a bag ala Paris Hilton and the rest
jovica – well as my great English teacher used to say – ‘Choice confuses’ so it’s best this way
Manuel – yes Jeremy wanted me for this weekend but I just couldn’t fit him in my busy schedule. He threw a tantrum, it was embarrassing really, I didn’t know where to look. I’m sure he wouldn’t dare mention Mika to me though!
Steph – Why of course dear, just the one?
tallulahbloom – ohh you would love Plein 79. We’ll have to have a night out there some time. Maybe on the way to the castle that is really a forest…
forest, castle whatever there was no expiration date on that voucher!!
Let us all go to plein one Saturday . . .
Will you be visiting Pein 79 anytime in October, per chance?
Also, a castle that’s also a forest??
Who knows what sort of interesting opportunities or offers may flood your way now, Conor? Keep many pairs of impenetrable sunglasses on hand to protect your privacy!
look at you posh boy !
Wow, can I be your friend!!!
I lived in the Philippines for four years and there was an expat community over there. We set up a magazine especially for expats and I was in the middle of setting up a library when my partner in crime had someone fling themselves at her car in an attempt to extort money for injuries from her and she had to leave the country
What a witty, charming interview. I’m sure telly producers are wings!
Prima! I hope you got to sit back in a big fat leather armchair in front of a blazing log fire, languidly considering your responses while a wrinkled old flunkey discreetly replenished your port glass.
tallulahbloom – deal
alan – that’s an idea – hmmm so many options
medbh – I’m wearing them constantly – can’t see where I’m going but I look fabulous!
flirty – perhaps I should consider a move to LA in true posh style
ellen – why of course, you already are
that is a great story, I want to hear more
Llapen – how wonderful to see you here
The producers are taking way too long. Probably trying to come up with the best deal. These things take time I guess.
Bock – funny you should say that – that’s exactly what I did. If you substitute the fire for the TV, the armchair for my Ikea couch, the flunky for myself and the port for a ribena.
Now that is one informative and entertaining interview! No doubt by the time I have read it (August 20, monday afternoon) you must have already been leg-fondled on the planes, i.e. are now famous.
My boyfriend is Irish and he returned to Ireland after almost 10 years of living in Australia, dragged me with him, too. Good luck for the next 9 years, wherever you may choose to live.