‘Let’s go for a picnic’ my occasionally nefarious friend suggest a few weeks ago. Instantly I began picturing us sitting on red and white checked sheets under a hug oak tree by a river, a wicker basket by our side drinking chilled white wine and munching happily on olives and other farm fresh food until it’s uncomfortable to move. What I hadn’t anticipated was that a picnic was a euphemism my ONF uses for a ridiculously long cycle stopping off along the way for a quick bite so you don’t die of exhaustion. It’s like being in the Tour de France but without the drugs. It took me two weeks before I was able to walk properly again.
When the idea cropped up again this weekend I was prepared. A picnic? How lovely I said as I began doing frantic warm ups and prepared myself psychologically with positive mantras. This time it was a 50+ km cycle going through towns and villages I didn’t even know existed. We raced past pigs, sheep, goats, ducks, bizarre giant rabbits, peacocks and ostriches. It was like Noah’s Ark on tour. Except of course Noah and family were able to sit back and enjoy the ride while I had to cycle myself halfway around the province puffing and panting at the same time as admiring the flora and fauna.
The day itself was deceptively sunny. Lots of boisterous clouds when we set off turned into a belting sun as the day progressed. This morning I woke up to find myself the colour of an embarrassed lobster. Unfortunately everyone else is finding me that way too. Queue lots of ‘what happened to you?’s and the like. My response just seems to elicit confusion but it’s true - I went on a picnic. And it was wonderful!
By the way the hottest place in Europe on Saturday night was Amsterdam. I know, I was there, and I fell in love.
you fell in love! you buried the lede.
i love biking. but 50 km might be a bit much…
Laurie – it’s only lightly buried
50km is very long but good company makes it go quickly.
You poor man with the lobster skin. Sunscreen! Always! Even when it’s cloudy, Conor. Sounds like a lovely cycling trip otherwise.
Just as well Holland is flat, otherwise 50km could have been a whole lot worse!
I love picnics but not the kind that involve a 50+ km cycle.
How are the legs today?
medbh – I have learned my lesson. I promise.
theswissjob – I was thinking the very same thing yesterday. The downside is there is no speeding down hills
grannymar – Surprisingly OK – no doubt it’ll hit tomorrow and I’ll hardly be able to stand
I totally love speeding down hills on a bike, with your feet out stretched. Except I haven’t been on a bike since I was mowed down by a car when I was 12… I say mowed.. technically I was flung, but it still hurt like hell.
Ireland’s road is not made for bikes. It’s a shame really; I think I’d cycle more if they were.
Hope the sunburn has eased. Mine has turned from lobster-red to a more constant-blush effect
Regarding the time you ended up with squashed nuts. Take it from my husband, for long bike rides you need a gel filled saddle pad. Your balls will be cradled in luxury!
I’m going on an actual picnic on Wednesday. It had better not be a euphemism for anything other than eating and drinking in the great outdoors whilst keeping the ants at bay. Also have you got something else to tell us, “and I fell in love”? Share….
It’s like being in the Tour de France but without the drugs.
Class!
alan – mine is slowly turning to a healthier shade – by Wednesday it should looked more tanned than tainted
emma – I was contemplating getting those cycling shorts that are padded, it’s just that they’re …. rather tight
manuel – I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Let us know how you get on.
primal – the drugs are coming with me next time
I don’t know what’s worse on picnics: keeping the ants at bay, or fleeing an attack of vicious wasps.
I suppose you’ll be doing 70km cycles pretty soon, provided you’ve got padded shorts and some decent company?
I look like an embarrassed lobster too. If that comforts you.
Jovica – I’ll go looking this weekend for shorts and company
lenfercest – hehe actually it does
So your friend is also occasionally sadistic?
Sassy – very astute hehehe
Jovica – is that grimace from the thought of me in bicycle shorts?
I think it might have been.
Although I’m sure you’ll look most fetching in whatever attire you choose to don.
Perhaps you should choose some subdued hues though; otherwise you might be attractive to all manner of insect life.
With friends like that . . .
[...] Sunday. A short cycle became the Tour De Netherlands (this I should have learned from past experience), a snack became pizzas and my kitchen became a Gin Fizz [...]