Pour myself a cup of ambition
4 04 2008When you’re plodding away doing the daily nine to five (or 07:40 to 5 but who’s counting?) you grasp at anything that can to distinguish one day from the other. The man who comes to service the photocopier instantly becomes the most popular man in the building as he seems like an exotic visitor from a strange far away land. If someone accidentally shreds the wrong document the drama of it can keep you afloat for days. Sad and all as it is ‘Dress Down Friday’ is always hugely welcome. Your soft reliable jeans herald the advancing weekend and it’s fun trying to push the acceptable limits of what is too casual to wear to work. It’s even more fun to secretly snigger at the poor innocent souls who think that Disney characters on clothes is appropriate for adults.
So it was with a wee sigh this morning that I had to go and grab a shirt and tie. No dressing down for Conortje this Friday. Instead I get the delicious chance to imagine that I am ridiculously important as I have to tear across town this afternoon to attend, wait for it …… a video conference! I’m going to be connected to Rome, Paris and New York. Ladies and gentlemen I have arrived in the world of …. hmmm…. anyone know what I actually do here? Ah well, I’ll figure it out soon enough no doubt. The reality will be that I’ll be huddled into a corner of the room trying to be quiet and inconspicuous and hoping that nobody asks me anything. In my mind though we will all be waiting to hear what our great leader’s plans are so we can begin taking over the world!
Of course I am going to be ridiculously disappointed when I realise that it’s not all that exciting and nothing like a revamped version of Charlie’s Angels. Pity, I wonder which one I would have been…
Just be careful how you behave, Con. Remember there’s a camera taking in every little thing you normally try to conceal and flashing it around the world. So no furtive nose-picking, clothing adjustments, nodding off etc. Rome, Paris and New York will zoom in on your misdemeanours!
Oh man, I hate videoconferences, they make me look fat. And for some reason I always have the compulsion to wave at people. A lot.
Does your great leader have a fluffy white cat and does he talk with the back of his black leather chair facing the camera?
Can we all watch?
Why do you get all the fun at work?
I’m trying to work out how to send text messages from my brand spanking new work phone. And all I’ve managed to achieve so far is to discover that a colleague has been bombarding me with digital missives informing me that I smell.
nick - I can just imagine that I’m going to look like an ultra alert nerd for the whole session
catherine - I bet I will want to do that too
hidh - I’m sure yet - he might be a misty blur with a booking voice
alan - god no, the mortification!
jovica - fun? faraway hills…. and why would you need to send text messages for work then? Hmmm? Hmmm?
Yes, there is indeed an element of a richer shade of green on them there hills…
And why? Well, to exact revenge on the colleague who’s been bugging me, of course.
Did you polish your shoes? Well, you never know!
shuffle your papers and say “i agree” a lot. you’ll be grand. disney characters . . the shame. i know a woman with a tweetie pie denim jacket . . why oh why
coming soon to a YouTube near you?
and does this mean people will be firing questions at you in French and Italian? good luck.
We once accidentally switched on another office’s camera. I don’t think they ever knew… At least, I hope they couldn’t see our conference room; I wasn’t looking my best.
In our office, most real stuff is done by phone conference; the video is more for show.
jovica - just you wait until I get the number
grannymar - I did. About a month ago, so that must mean they’re okay, right?
townygirl - Tweety Bird? Dear lord, the poor wee lamb. I’m good at shuffling paper by the way.
laurie - english all the way thank god
robert - hehe oh that could have led to some very embarrassing moments - I love it!
I see you on a lot of blogs I visit, C, but this is my first visit to you. Great blog! Video conferencing: the one I truly remember, and in hindsight howl and howl, is one 5 way a few years back and the guy ( brilliant actuary) in Boston fell fast asleep and SNORED !The reactions of the rest of us were priceless, the men trying to wake him up “Charlie, hey Charlie!” and the women exchanging raised eyebrows and trying to stifle the giggles. Needless to mention, we had to terminate the conference, his snores superceded any attempts at conversation….;>
the finest and most lively games at work I always found were how little work can I do without being sacked? Unfortunately many of these lively games of using internal post to send personal parcels around the world and nine hours a day surfing did cause me to be sacked. but being sacked is as good as a rest i say
Darn… I tried to message you earlier. It wouldn’t let me. I guess the system is out there to protect you from my abuse
one thing i’ve learned, always carry a notebook or a piece of paper and look concerned
can you tell i was in politics?
(any chance the video will make it to youtube, sugar?)
So I guess you won’t be wearing the mickey mouse tie then? I have an acquaintance who has an importantish job at Volvo he insists on wearing a disney tie, even on Video conferences, God I wish I had the balls to tell him how terrible it looks, guess I’ll just have to keep laughing into the back of my hand for a while more.
Did you all get to say ‘Yes Charlie’ in unison, flick your gravity-defying fringes and giggle? Surely that’s what it’s all about?
I think you’d be the leggy auburn haired one. If not, then any of them (’cos I bet they all do sweaty yoga). And Farrah Fawcett got to be married to six million dollar man for a while….imagine all of those bionic body parts
We like to watch……
Bit late now, but I would have suggested a good old fashioned moon. Always breaks the ice. Oh, the crack, I mean the craic, you’d have had!
Oh, you’d definitely by Cheryl Ladd. She was by far the hottest. And you’d look fab in that ‘roller girl’ outfit I betcha. That’d liven up the video conference a tad
www - nice to see you here
great story - unfortunately mine didn’t have any such interesting moments
emmak - sounds like a great game if you ask me
jovica - god bless wordpress, looking out for me
savannah - I scribbled away furiously like I knew what was going on - I’m sure it looked very impressive
tim - well I suppose they entertain us at least - and that’s worth something
travelling - we did actually, well in my head at any rate….
enda - that sounds wonderfully creepy hehehe
primal - it would certainly have shaken them up that’s for sure, an opportunity mmissed I’m afraid
english mum - see I always had a thing for kate Jackson but that was because of Scarecrow and Mrs King I must admit
Hope they video taped it for you for your 15 minutes of fame - then you can replay and see if you have a nervous twitch or picked your nose, scratched your privates etc!