Where do they all come from?
15 04 2008I’m 100% TB free! If I knew anything about this whole internet malarkey I’d put a proud banner up on the corner of my blog. Of course that means I won’t be able to cough dramatically and announce I have consumption at every drop in conversation. Sarcoidosis will just have to do until I develop something new.
I celebrated the good news with a weekend of live music. On Friday I summoned up all my courage and went to a music festival in Rotterdam - on my own. It was the first time I had ever been to a gig by myself. I was fine on my own for the first while, over-compensating my lack of company with many trips to the bar. I’d try and squeeze out as much conversation as I could with the bar man in the time it took to fill my glass with beer. I like to think he found these golden moments extra special too… Later though I found myself accidentally eavesdropping on people’s conversations, edging closer and closer to groups and laughing at their jokes until I started to get suspicious looks, at which point I’d take myself and my beer to the other side of the room and blend into another group of faux-friends.
On Saturday I went to see the incredible Devotchka in Amsterdam - this time in the presence of real-life friends again. The comfort of being in company was delicious and I felt like going up to all the people I saw on their own and telling them everything would be okay. They could come and eavesdrop on our conversation if they wished without any risk of unfriendly glances. I was going to be the Mother Theresa of lonely people! That was until I got distracted by the arrival of a new round of drinks after which I promptly forgot all about them. It can’t have been that bad though, the bar man looked friendly enough.
I used to go to parties by myself when I was in the States - usually the eavesdropping and then joining the conversation works fine
(And yes, it does work for a guy too, EBF does it too)
Glad you don’t have TB!
I used to go to gigs on my own all the time. The worst bit was always the hanging around before the show started, but once it started I tended to forget I was alone- until the end when I had no one to rave/ bitch away to.
Mmm Devotchka. They’re on the festival circuit for the summer too, really hoping to see them again!
lenfercest - I was too shy to actually join in
red - and because it was a festival there was an awful lot of between shows time
catherine - they were incredible!! The sousaphone was all lit up in party lights again - I love that.
Ah well, at least you have sarcoidosis. That’s something. Look at it this way: all you could have is a cold or an ingrown toenail. Be thankful for small mercies.
I love it that you wanted to go up to all the singles and tell them everything would be okay. That’s so sweet. And a Mother Theresa of lonely people - a wonderful idea!
I’m really pleased about the TB thing, although I was looking forward to being able to announce at dinner parties (like I ever get invited to dinner parties) that I know someone with TB. Damn you for not giving me a better tale to tell.
But seriously, it’s good news. Nobody likes a cougher.
good news, sugar! xoxo (now i have to go look up the group you mentioned!)
i know them, i mean i knew the music as soon as i heard it…*hanging my head* i really should write names down *sigh* (youtube has only increased my non-retentive tendencies)
primal - I suppose you’re right…problem is nobody can see that I have it - I guess I will just have to start moaning and complaining of chest pains or something
nick - plus the blue and white combination really suits me!
travller - very true about coughing- you can still tell them about the one-kidneyed kiwi-allergic gay vegetarian with sarcoidosis!
savannah - oh don’t worry, I’m just the same. My memory has crumbled since I got sarcoidosis you know…
i was idly thinking that i might be brave this weekend and head to a few gigs on my lonesome (Mark Geary and Joe Chester are both playing and nobody will go with me… *sob*). i’d be hopeless at trying to do the whole nonchalant cool on my own thing though.
so i’ll be staying home and sulking instead.
I’ve only done the solo gig thing a few times but would try and feel wanted by talking on my mobile before the gig. I ran out of credit once so just pretended i was talking to somene!
A friendly barman - are you sure - how drunk were you?
Congratulations on the clear TB test. I’ve had loads of TB tests (they’re usually required if you’re going to work around animals) but I never had one with even the glimmer of the tiniest possibility that I might actually have TB/
And good on you for going to the music festival alone. I haven’t done anything like that in about 15 years. Not sure I could do it again. (I’m so socially phobic and retarded now, I don’t even like going to parties where I know everyone.)
rosie - no, no - you should go. Make drink your friend
quickroute - oh that’s a great idea. I did do an awful lot of texting
flirty - well they supplied me with beer and allowed be to chat at them so that must mean they’re friendly
ann - well I’m not sure I’ll do it again for a while.
must try some of that devotchka stuff…….I’ll be passing on the tb thanks….
Oh, you’re a brave man, and no mistake!
I’ve been to a good few concerts on my own. Since they were mostly classical things, I could sink into my seat and read a book or pretend to make knowledgeable marks in my programme. Of course, come the interval (often my favourite part, at least in company, as the bar is open), the very bright fluorescent lighting would reveal me to be a solo opera goer. I think that’s when I developed my habit of having extremely earnest and urgent phantom phonecalls. At least I thought people would believe that I was terribly popular or important.
The worst bit is the afterglow, when you want to bask in and relive the beautiful moments you’ve heard and seen. And all you have is your precious self to talk to.
You’re a courageous Conortje. And I’m proud out!
Congratulations on doing the solo gig bit. I did it a load whan I was a teenager if I couldn’t find anyone else to go with - and no faux mobile calls to hide behind then either. I do it much less now - I guess I have become more social, less of a loner. But if you can’t persuade your friends or workmates to go to a a gig and you really want to go then why not go by yourself. If you got the same venues you’ll get to know all the other
losersmusic lovers in your city.PS I can count the gigs I have been to in five years in the NL on my fingers and toes. Few international stars go beyond the Randstaad and I am getting to lazy to make big trips to A’dam to go and see overpaid rock stars (and am too out of tune with the upcoming ones). I’ve decided to draw the line at paying 100 Euro at a concert ticket for anyone - which means none of the big acts touring this year will be getting my custom.