I often get complimented on how good my Dutch is by the natives. They sit around nodding in agreement at how wonderful it is that a foreigner (especially an English speaking one) has bothered to learn a few words. I lap it all up, joining in involuntarily with the nodding, basking happily in the praise. I try to get the most out of these few seconds as I know only too well what is coming next. The dreaded question – How long have you been here now? My answer invariably causes an immediate halt to the head movements, or at the very least an abrupt change of direction from up and down to side to side. Oh dear, that long? they will exclaim, your Dutch should really be better by now. God bless the Dutch and their hit and run honesty – a trait they like to market as a national quality.
A good way to get around this would be by lying. Unfortunately my face is the ultimate lie detector as I go bright red at even the slightest fib. No matter how hard I try I can never seem convincing when juggling the truth. And so, if I was asked yesterday how long I had been in this country I would have had to truthfully answer that it was ten years exactly.
Such a ridiculously poignant anniversary can only lead someone to reflection. I’ve spent a third of my life here. You’d think that would probably mean that I love the place and am deliriously happy among the windmills and frightening honesty. On this premise I sat at home last night, on my own, reliving moments of the years gone by. I’ve lived in two different Dutch cities. Bought a cute little attic apartment. Made countless good friends. Found love and then lost it. Had hundreds of wonderful nights out. Adopted traditions and spread some others. And even learned some of the language to varying degrees of success.
I sat back feeling a little overcome by the magnitude of the years and wondered just how it had gone so fast and what should I have done differently. As I lay down to sleep later that night one overriding thought took over - it’s time to move on.
What a milestone. Go you.
Now come home so Rosie and I can ply you with gin.
Ain’t that peculiar indeed, you posting on this and me posting on the things I miss about Ireland on the same day
The Dutch have a rather hypocritical view on language issues. When somebody is learning Dutch they give them zero chance to speak it because they always reply in English. Then when you have been here two years they start asking – why can’t you speak Dutch yet? Well, maybe if you had given me a chance……
I have been here nearly ten years as well and I think all of the time about leaving but it would be too difficult with all my family commitments so I have to wait until the kids grow up and we’ll go to live in Spain.
If I had no attachments I would go to live in Iceland but maybe if I had have gone to live there when I chose Holland I would be wanted to live in tulipland by now…… Wie weet?
catherine – now that is a fabulous reason to come back
aidan – something in the air. I’ve been thinking a lot about my next destination. I must say I hadn’t thought of Iceland though…maybe I should. Not sure what I could bring to that country though…
Just close you eyes and jump – you will be just fine wherever you land.
I’ll miss you though.
So make sure it is somewhere warm but not too scary far, with a second bed so I can visit.
x
If Ireland can’t have her son back just yet, then go somewhere amazing, exciting, adventurous, and consistently sunny!
… and get a great apartment with plenty of room for visitors!
P.S. I’m assuming you’re not moving on before I arrive on Thursday!? That’d be a bit of a kick in the face!
P.P.S You may not want it said, but I’m gonna say it anyway; congrats on the major milestone of 10 years in clogland. Isn’t it better to have left and lived; loved and be loved; and gained amazing friends, than to be stuck in the hometown, working the 9 to 5, seeing the same faces, living for the drunken snog in the dark corners of the local nightclub every saturday night and holidaying in greasy benidorm maybe once a year if you’re lucky?
That is so weird, just about a week ago or so I was reflecting my time in Australia. I still don’t speak a word of Australian but it seems most Australians don’t mind it. Nevertheless I keep getting the “where is that cute ~ interesting but ugly? ~ accent from?” 11 years ago I came here. I was a bit sad to leave Australia for Ireland last year, but still enjoyed my 9 months in Dublin. You can adapt and make home anywhere, this much is apparent to me Conor. Do you feel like you will / want to go back to Ireland? Or is next another country…
you’d love belfast now…….! no seriously……!
“lap it all up, joining in involuntarily with the nodding” bwahahahaha that made me laugh!
Come to live in Paris, Big C. You’ll learn french in a jiffy and all those years of Dutch-ness will stand you in good stead for Parisians – they’ll seem positively brimming with politeness compared to your cloggies.
I had a lovely moment with the parents of the Dutch girl my best friend is married to (if you see what I mean). The father and mother came over to me and conversation went :
“We keep meaning to ask you this, but forget every time”
“What is it? Where do I get my dazzling good looks from? How did I manage to put such an amazing outfit together at a minute’s notice? Can I lend you some money?”
“No, it’s just that we want to know….how much do you weigh?”
“Lovely of you to ask. I’m just going to get a drink. Anyone else want one?”
tallulah – knowing me if I close my eyes I’ll end up just over the border in Belgium…
alan – don’t worry, I’ll try and hang on until Thursday at the very least hehe
gaye – noot sure I’m ready for Ireland just yet to be honest…
manuel – I have never been actually – perhaps I need to visit so I can put it on or off the list
travelling – oh my god that’s priceless hehehe how did you react? Paris is extremely tempting as it happens…
Wherever it is you are going, can I come?
exciting times Conortje. You want to go to NYC don’t you?
breigh – hehe it’s the weather isn’t it – we deserve some decent sunny days!
red – well that would be fabulous indeed, maybe just a wee bit too far away though…
Come to Italy! You need fattening up!
Another poignant posting. I recognise the language issue fully. And while this is a lovely country to live and work and do business in it can be a very lonely one for buitenlanders, because the Dutch are so clannish, sticking with their own. Now if I were to guess you are prababaly looking at the sits vac columns for New York and/or Berlin?
Funny, sort of.
We’ve been banging on about moving on for a long time now too. Finding it very hard to find a suitable destination.
We are miles off being ready to face Ireland again.
One thing for sure, Holland is a hard bloody place to actually leave, as much as we moan about it.
The world’s best kept communist secret.
Good luck.
Long time lurker, thought I’d make the effort to actually comment for once! I’ve now realised that some people just aren’t meant to stay in one place for very long. I am one of those people. Spent a few months in Tallinn, Estonia (fabulous place!) recently, and am currently enjoying the sunshine in Lyon… if you’re thinking of France, I heartily recommend this city! Good luck wherever you go.
i’m actually moving back to dutchieland next week… though i’m excited as well i’ve got mixed feelings about going back mainly because it means being surrounded by ONLY dutch people ALL the time after spending three years gleefully avoiding them in london, so it’s good to know there are actually some foreigners there…
i know we’re too honest, but we only mean it in the nicest possible way.
caro – oohh now Italy would be something. Would you recommend Milan? Red says Rome isn’t great for gigs so that’s out.
textual – well I’m not ruling anything out just yet
xbox – hehe well I’ve been getting ready to leave for ten years
hails – nice to hear from you!! I’ll happily through Lyon into the pot, I know Travelling really liked it too
mieke – couldn’t we just swap lives? I’l take your job and flat in London and you can have mine…
Sometimes you just know it’s time to move on, don’t you? Come over to Dublin – if Rosie and Catherine are going to ply you with gin, I’m sure I can feed you up with cake and icecream. And some more gin to wash it all down.
On the verge of leaving Buenos Aires myself – Destination unknown. We’re a wandering breed – “knackers” for want of a better word!
Know what? You don’t have anything to prove — so what if they react like THAT when they find out how long you’ve been there? As long as you’re happy, that’s the key. Good luck in your moving forward!
Why move at all if you’re happy where you are? Or if you aren’t, don’t move until there’s somewhere that positively attracts you, don’t do it just for the sake of moving. Why not make a real leap and go to Australia (that is if you’ve got a skill they need or they won’t let you in)? Sydney is just fantastic. Sun, beaches, space, scenery, beautiful people. A perfect city.
jen – lemon meringue too??
quick route – hehe there’s a word I haven’t heard in a while
bea scott – you’re right of course, something I need to tell myself every day
nick – wellone can always be happier…australia is awfully far away. I’m not sure I’d move to somewhere I haven’t even visited. Although who knows, like I said ‘m not going to close off any options just yet. Fortunately there’s no mad hurry to make a decision.
See what you’ve started? Now everyone’s going to be upset if you don’t move within the next three posts…
Ten years . . . scary how fast it flies isn’t it. I’m in ireland 6 years next month. For me this is where i’ll stay, so you must move, i need adventure and you’re it! lol.
If you feel you need to move you should, onwards and upwards lovely man.x oh, and i agree with travelling but not in love lol
Of course – lemon meringue too
Well, your English is very good. So you could go somewhere where they speak it – like, the corner of Main and 22nd, Killorglin, maybe.
Just a thought – if you found a new lover/partner locally next week would you reconsider your position (sorrry should I say decision)?
travelling – hehe well I’m terribly good at disappointing people
towny – six years is also pretty long.. are you absolutely sure it isn’t time for somewhere new?
jen – that’s the best incentive yet then!
primal – you’re too kind, I still struggle with articles and spelling though – a refreshers course is in order before I could even consider Killorglin
textual – hmmmm have you got someone in mind for me? Who knows if that would change things – but one doesn’t fall in love in a week…
Trouble is i’m madly in love with an irishman that will not leave ireland. i’d love to move back to england but i fear he’ll explode as soon as he leaves irish air space . . . if you meet someone you could loiter about a bit longer before you move !!
i know that feeling, sugar *sigh*…xoxox
Afraid Milan isn’t the Mae West for gigs either. And you’d probably find the opposite problem here – no-one speaks English so your career choices would be seriously limited until you picked up some Italian, which, on the bright side, is actually a pretty easy language.
It’s not the most exciting city in the world, I have to admit. Though I would love if you moved here.
It is the wheater ! We all need sunshine right now. Never thought of moving back to Den Bosch. We are must more friendly then those in the big cities
And next time ask then; why do u speak so bad English?
I wish I could leave now, but I have another year of graduate school to go for. I’m seriously considering UK as my next destination.
Just say that where you come from in Ireland nobody speaks English, so technically Dutch is your 7th language. The first 5 being the Ancient tongues of Culchie and dialects of Gaeilge, say you also speak a little bit of drunk and they’ll be very impressed
Excellent turn of phrase – the Dutch and their hit and run honesty – am quoting it ad nauseum to anyone who’ll listen …