I’ve always had a unique approach to spelling. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I am dyslexic but perhaps you could say that I flirt with its first cousin on occasion . In fact, it goes deeper than this. With some words I fall at the hurdle of the very first letter. Other words I truly believe just look better the way I spell them. The word family for example, I have always felt that it was crying out for a second L. I was 18 years old before I finally accepted that yesterday and Saturday did not share the same spelling ideology despite sounding the same. Throw American Vs English spelling into the mix and it makes for one thoroughly confused Conortje. I get by through a combination of sympathetic people, polite enough to overlook my ways and with the help of my sacred spell check.
This little quirk has followed me over to any other language I attempt to write. Dutch is particularly challenging as many of their words contain more letters than the alphabet itself. A double L instead of just one, or an incorrect vowel placing can totally throw the meaning. Geel and geil for example has seen me in many the embarrassing predicament as one means yellow and the other horny.
You would think that all this would make me more understanding of others’ spelling difficulties and yet I can’t help but grumble when I spot a glaring mistake in a text. I would admit to being a deluded hypocrite if only I was able to put it in writing without the assistance of spell check. What annoys me most though is the chocolate box variety of versions my name has seen in print. Most common is Connor but I also regularly encounter Coner, Conner, Konor, Cunor and course the delightful Connard.
Always ridiculously helpful as I am, I organised a course at work on improving people’s writing skills (fret not, I was not conducting the course). The battle between relishing the irony and my utter embarrassment raged when I realised this week that I had in fact sent out a notice informing everyone of the times of their course on ‘Effectivet Written Communication’. Clearly even spell check has its off days.
Just have the instructor begin by asking if anyone spotted the error and how did it make them feel? The launch seamlessly into how important it is to be perfect and attend this course!
Anyway, I feel your pain. You can’t imagine the nightmares I had when the grammar book I wrote a few years back was published. (And yes, there were a couple of errors, but no one seems to have noticed hee hee)
My thesis has a gaping grammatical error on the very first page. There are probably many others after that, but I was too embarrassed to check.
eguinan – fabulous idea
I love how you drop in the fact that you have published a book. I’d being doing it in every single comment on every single blog if I was you 
alan – First page was in Irish so it was surely riddled with mistakes
Oh, it could be worse; AIB enjoys spelling my second name differently depending on whether I’m using a credit card or a laser card. I’ll probably eventually be arrested for being generally suspicious.
Oh? That old thing? Why, I’d practically forgotten I’d written it!
Oh? That old thing? Why, I’d practically forgotten I’d written it!
Available from all good bookshops, or online
robert – On my Dutch ID card they introduced a scandanavian Ø into my name. I think it makes me look ridiculously exotic.
eguinan – hehehe can I be a groupie?
alan – are you getting 10%
I know what you mean about words looking wrong. If I look at a word for longer than usual, it starts to appear very peculiar. Especially all those English words that are spelt totally different from their pronunciation in the first place. Like laughter or diaphragm. I start thinking surely this is German or Swedish? I bet there are many more people with spelling foibles than we realise because most of them keep it a well guarded secret – you’re completely normal!
Sometimes spelling mistakes can be endearing. We loved the little hole-in-the-wall takeaway in Chicago that advertiesed (in HUGE letters on its windows)
HAT DOGS
and
THE BEST TACOS in TAWN
I don’t know where Tawn is, but I can’t wait to pick up a hat dog.
yes, I only saw the squiggly line alerting me to the spelling error (advertiesed) at the instant I clicked Submit Comment.
The older I get the worse my spelling seems to get. I’ve developed a bit of a complex about it so I’ve installed a firefox addon that underlines spelling mistakes in comment boxes and I spend twice as much time googling the correct spelling than I do writing the comment!
nick – normal? Now there’s something I hope I never am hehe okay, except maybe when it comes to spelling
ann – they’re brilliant. Did you take pictures? I thought you did the mistake on purpose hehe
quikroute – I copy mine out into Word and then spellcheck before exporting them back. Glad to know I’m not the only one spending way too long in the comment boxes
I can sympathise. Last night’s blog almost referrred readers to the unburbable lightness of being- still it gives a whole new meaning to bounced cheques.
ah yes, calling some ‘yellow bellied’ in Dutch has it’s risks…
My Passport says that I was born in Birminghmm. I applied for a second passport last year (don’t ask why I need two) and that one also says Birminghmm. I like it though, it sounds like Birmingham, but more curious.
Sacrifice – I always want to spell it ’sacrafice’ and I have no idea why. Or have I got that the wrong way around? I have to stop and actively think about it.
Principle/principal always used to cause me problems too. Bill Bryson has a lovely book called ‘Troublesome Words’ which I keep by my desk all the time. Even if I don’t need to look anything up, it’s still pretty funny.
And, for equally unknown reasons, I used to think that turquoise was crimson and vice versa. ‘Turquoise’ just sounded kind of red to me.
Last year I posted a link to this hugely funny sketch by Taylor Mali ”the impotence of proofreading.” If the link below doesn’t work you can locate it on YouTube
I am an editor. I hold my hands up because last year I let a really bad table heading slip past me: “Pubic expenditure, 2004-7.” Fortunately at least there was no reference in the text to it being trimmed.
textual – ‘unburbable lightness of being’ sounds like a fantastic title does Pubic Expenditure hehe
xbox – Dutch is a risky language in many ways
travelling – that’s really quite cool. Are you sure you didn’t make a mistake on the application form?
jen – it’s nice to know I’m in good company then
*can’t comment, too worried about making a typo* xoxox
Ha ha ha I knew the banana was horny by nature!!! Danes are so wise.
savannah – ahhh don’t you worry one bit, I wouldn’t even notice
K8 – and the Dutch are even wiser
I am sympathetic to your plight, sorry about the English, but I am from the UK. I am in a desperate struggle not to become Americanized – the word Americanized, looks more accurate with a z instead of an s, the way I should be spelling it. My desire to not become Americanized has nothing to do with being anti-American, I am not anti-American. I am just not willing to learn to spell all over again.
Anyway, back to my point my brother suffers from Dyslexia, so I appreciate what it must be like to suffer or almost suffer from Dyslexia. I believe that my middle name Michael, looks more correct when spelt Micheal
Finally, our surname is constantly being spelt wrong by other people. The chocolate box analogy you came up with is pretty good. The actual spell of my surname is BRANIFF, some of the weird and wonderful variations others have come up with are spectacular. BRINAFF, BARNIFF, BANRIFF, BRANNIFF, BRENAFF, BRANIIFF. You get the idea, but occasionally someone comes up with something completely unrelated like BRAWIFF, not only is that last one not a joke – it appeared in an official document. When I recieved my National Insurance Number.