Not one to wallow in happy mediums I often dabble in extremes. And I’m not talking about useful talents or gifts but more mundane things like emotions, sense of smell and nerves. The slightest unexpected noise can have me jumping half a metre off the ground and shrieking like a cat being raped. Actually, it doesn’t even necessarily need to be unexpected: toasters are a frequent source of worry as I get a horrendous shock each time the bread pops up – even if I’m waiting for it! I also have a ridiculously overdeveloped sense of smell which has me fleeing in disgust from certain restaurants and cheese shops or anywhere with a strong odour.
My Occasionally Sober Friend has never understood these issues and always accused me of overreacting – attention grabbing if you will. One nice surprise I had recently however was the news that she is pregnant! As you might gather from her name this is proving quite the challenge and so I find myself glossing over any references to alcohol in the stories I tell her. My weekend tales now involve pretend pints of Ribena for fear she’d have me describe in minute details the taste and sensation of ever sip of wine or beer I have.
More entertaining though is the multitude of changes she is going through. She can rocket from deliriously happy that the supermarket has 10 cents off her favourite bread to miserably weepy that there are three people in the queue before her. She was always quite positive about a good bargain but her reaction now involves anything from dancing, singing and jumping to slouching, crying and sighing – all reactions I empathise fully with. Her sense of smell has also sharpened to a degree that brings her in line with mine. She now spends a good 30% of the time moaning about the smells around her. Making the list even longer she seems to have developed my jumpyitis and frequently gets frightened by honking cars or loud supermarket announcements.
I love how your pregnancy has helped you understand me better I informed her (yes it is all about me). She pondered this for a few moments before adequately clarifying the situation. Basically this just means that you always act like a pregnant woman – you must be ever so proud!
look at you—excellent! all the emphathy, none of the nappy-changing.
now if only I can persuade him/her to look after me in my old age
Grease the kid’s hand with silver at birth, buy terrific toys once a year, zoo once every couple of years, maybe the cinema the odd time and you’re in like Flint for superior elder care. cheap at the price.
XO
WWW
I’m not at all excitable, all my emotions are under the surface, so much so that Jenny sometimes thinks I’m lacking in feelings. It would be good to be a bit like you, to avoid the misunderstandings. I wouldn’t go so far as to get pregnant though….
I also have a poor sense of smell, only very strong smells register. Bunches of flowers are usually wasted on me. Funny though, I have no problem homing in on fresh chocolate cake….
Well feel like a woman by all means just don’t go all dude looks like a lady! It’s true, pregnancy does a lot of weird things, she’ll settle down after 3 months. I couldn’t stand handling raw meat because of the smell .. great excuse not to have to cook!
www – fabulous advise
nick – fresh chocolate cake, the most important taste of all…
baino – funnily enough she’s stopped cooking too, despite being the best cook I know
Haha she got you there!
How do you know what a raped cat sounds like?
poser – well it’s what I would imagine, or perhaps a pigeon being raped would be closer…
I’ve got the same thing with the extreme sense of smell. I never go into a cheese or fish shop. And I’m not even pregnant! Although someone did ask me that over the weekend. But it was some weight-gain coupled with a dress I used to wear when my belly was still very flat – safe to say that dress will be put away at the back of my closet…
That is hilarious! Great Blog btw!
I will now forever imagine you like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td5GGCpJrOk
marjolein – noooo how awful – why would someone ask that – never ever do that!
angela – thanks
ben – sad thing is that that is really what I’m like
I’m not like that all, funny, why isn’t this post about me? It’d be way better
rua – I’ll try harder next time I promise
lol. i love it. i’ve a good friend that’s very pregnant at the moment and she’s the same. she’s like a little dog constantly sniffing the air saying “do you get that, can you smell that”. it’s a temporary super power methinks.
I think I met your Occasionally Sober Friend recently right? That’s great news. Tell her congrats from me… actually maybe not; she won’t have a clue who I am. :$
towny – yes! great way of looking at it – it’s a superpower!
alan – trust me, you are certainly memorable
I always had you down as a bit of a girl, tbh. he he
a pigeon????
what do you do in your spare time?
You’d be so much fun to hang out with and play tricks on. Ahhh.
Conor best of luck to your OSF, wishing her a great journey in her pregnancy.
Gxox
ah, how exciting for you all, i’m off over to hers now to congratulate.
Ooh, that’s good. Always a pregnant woman, eh? Made me laugh.
travelling – someone who owns silver shoes is not allowed to say that
poser – hehe not enough!
gaye – I’m all too easily wound up
red – it really is
fiona – and I didn’t even mention how often I need to pee
Loved the post. Thanks!
SHE is funny! I’m sure I like her.