You okay? My Occasionally Hope-Giving Friend asked me yesterday when she caught me staring at the wall when I should have been working. Just counting the minutes until it’s home time – I’m devising my ultimate escape plan I explained. I’ve narrowed down my options to two suitable solutions: either I win the lottery or I rob a bank.
Weighing up the choices she quickly came to the conclusion that it would have to be the lottery as I am a complete wimp when it comes to anything remotely devious. Her case in point was last week’s trip to a festival here in The Hague. The deal had been that all our friends were to smuggle in a bottle of wine each as the price of booze inside was ridiculously steep.
I spent an hour before leaving the house devising the best strategy – I agonised over which bag would be the least conspicuous, phoned friends for advice on what type of bottle would most likely make it through the security inspection, pondered which entrance would offer me the best chance, what type of facial expression to display as I made my way in…
After I had finally constructed a foolproof plan I grabbed my keys to finally leave. With the door open and one foot out sweat beads began to fall from my brow and my heart began racing. My mind flashed forward to possible scenes at the festival entrance – all scenarios ended with my utter humiliation – most featured me in handcuffs with police sirens, flashing lights and reporters everywhere.
Where’s the wine? my friends asked me when I eventually arrived Aw crap! The wine! I knew there was something I had forgotten I said with added disappointment in my voice I must have left it on the table. As I looked about at their faces it was painfully obvious that not one single person believed my story.
My only hope is that some day my annoying goody-two-clogs behaviour will somehow be rewarded in a lottery win! In the meantime I am ridiculously grateful to have such forgiving and understanding friends.