My Newfie is a loser! Now I mean that in a literal way rather than as a mean insult. Put more straight forwardly, he loses things – regularly! His keys, bank card and mobile phone have all been victim to this misfortune in the last couple of months. I like to think it is the result of his being driven to constant distraction by my brilliance but I think it is more likely just a series of bad luck and carelessness. That doesn’t stop me quietly moaning inside whenever it happens. The last time I counseled him that perhaps it was time he started taking more care with his possessions. Obviously this was conveyed in a ridiculously calm and supportive manner that underlined my astonishing sympathy and understanding. What else?
I certainly wasn’t calm yesterday when my departure from work was delayed by the absence of my own keys. Why would someone take my keys from my bag I shrieked. I combed my office just in case whoever it was had simply moved or dropped them. Backtracking down the corridor and the main lobby I scoured the entire path and even employed the assistance of two security officers who had been informed of this heinous act against me.
Even with all that help they were nowhere to be found! Feeling very sorry for myself I stepped out into the rain wondering how I was going to get into my Manhattan-Style Loft Apartment. As I glanced at my locked bike ready to reluctantly abandon it for the forced walk home something caught my eye. It was a glint of metal dangling from the bike lock. I walked over to confirm my growing suspicions. Indeed, there were my keys. Someone had clearly gone into my office, found my bag, smuggled my keys out of the building and stuck them in my bike lock. They had been there all day, practically shouting at each passer by Come take me, I’m yours! What fiendish soul could have done such a thing I asked myself as I cycled away in shock.
When I got home I began the long internal debate of whether or not to admit this series of events to my Newfie. Better not I decided, it’s important we have established roles. Any change in the status quo would be far too confusing.
So funny …. Some mornings, when I leave for work, I forget things. I return to the house in a fit of panic, scrambling to look for the misplaced item. Boyfriend generally laughs from under the duvet. He is happy he leaves the house later than I do because on these mindless occasions I leave my keys in the door. He texts me to tell me. Thank the Lord he’s a chilled out dude … I understand!!!
myopic – heh love it – see, it is sooooo easy to leave keys in the lock!!
at least you got them back. Remember Dublin two years ago? Oops; Alan seems to have lost his house and car keys. Cue HOURS later, and a smashed bathroom window and broken lock!
If I had a brain, I’d take it out and chew on it. I had everyone in the house searching desperately for my keys the other day; turns out they were in my pocket.
In my defense, I did come down with the flu and 102.8 fever the next day, so obviously I was not all there.
alan – I’d forgotten about that – and that was in the days before a certain someone could help out!
fs – oohh it’s the admitting to everyone else that’s the worst part isn’t it
ahh yes, the keys in the bike lock. been there.
Ooh you have a newfie! Better luck than my Cavan friend who had his bike lock smashed at the Luas station in Dubling and they pinched his bike! I never lose my keys because I don’t lock anything . . is that bad?
hehe I meant Dublin of course. I iz a bit toired!
lisa – glad to hear I’m not alone
baino – I’ve had that happen too – not so far from where my bike was yesterday – I was INCREDIBLLY lucky. By the way, I think I prefer Dubling
ya’ll had to have been just distracted, sugar, not forgetful or even worse, careless! xoxox
Wot, the capital of Ireland is Doubling? But won’t it fall into the sea?
These devious people who take one’s keys and leave them dangling in a lock somewhere are a menace. The funny thing is, you never see them doing it, they must be awful quiet and stealthy.
savannah – I think it’s more likely that one wasn’t entirely awake hehe it was 07:40 to be fair
nick – they are so cunning – nobody EVER sees them – pure evil so they are…
I just hate those evil gremlins that do such awful shite to our brains. Just the other day when I was in town, one got hold of my spare key in its hidy hole, opened my back door wide, coaxed the dog out and then put the key back in the hidey hole. Luckily a neighbour spotted what had been done and rehoused the dog and closed the door. The neighbour said it was so careless of me to leave the house open to the elements like that with the dog on the loose. Blasted gremlin blaming me.
XO
WWW
PS Does your own personal Newfie object to the term Newfie. I got into really hot water here for using the term, it was created by the US army bases here and used in a derogatory fashion a la the other N word. Just sayin’.
www – I hope you explained your innocence to the neighbour!! I have received special permission to use the term but I have also been told that Canadians aren’t allowed to say it as it’s insulting! Apparently not when I do though
I think it sounds cute!