The biggest use of my time has of course been attempting to achieve employment. This, it turns out is a full time job. I am signed up to a torrent of job alerts which litter my inbox every morning with vacancies that bear little relation to any of the search terms I requested. Driving instructor, air steward and stripper have all been suggested in the last week along with Japanese translator and Head of a nursing unit. As time goes on I find myself forced into wondering about the merits of a complete career change. Sadly the anti-social working hours of stripping has put me off somewhat.
I have attended three interviews so far. All went very well but it seems not well enough. For two, I met the requirements completely. They were ideal matches and I knew I could have performed brilliantly in the roles. What more do they want from me, blood? My friends keep telling me that something will come up and how could they resist me, they’d be lucky to have me. I’m thinking of rounding up a bunch of them to bring along next time, decked out with pom-poms and Conortje t-shirts. You just never know, perhaps that’s what they’re looking for…
I can’t shake the idea that in Ireland a lot of it comes down to who you know and having lived outside of Ireland for eleven years I’m afraid I have an alarming deficiency in this field. I’m working on dealing with the repeated rejection but boy does it ever make a dent in your ego. I’ve come to loath the bad news e mails that invariably thank me for my interest in their organisation. It’s increasingly difficult to read that ridiculous sentence without assuming a voice dripping with sarcasm and bitterness. I’d prefer they just concluded with ‘I know this sucks but you know what, just deal with it!’.
My Occasionally Spanish Friend suggested I request some feedback after the most recent interview so I spent a morning composing a friendly e mail asking for any suggestions or advice to help with future interviews. They didn’t even acknowledge my e mail. I’ve been pondering the idea of sending them a follow up thanking them for their disinterest in Conortje.
The scary thing about unemployment is that the longer it continues the less confidence you have of ever getting a job. Your belief in your own abilities begins to evaporate and this is a dangerous snowball.
What hasn’t yet disintegrated is my optimism. When the ‘thank you for your interest’ e mail arrives I spend the following hour or so repeatedly refreshing my inbox in the ludicrous hope that they sent me the wrong message and the correct one will arrive shortly.
Perhaps I need to build on this optimism and learn to turn negative thoughts into positive actions. Should I start learning Japanese or how to remove my shirt in a titillating manner. I’ve a feeling Japanese would be easier. Maybe I could combine both or even incorporate the driving instruction too. I’m sure that’s just what Ireland needs, a Japanese speaking driving instructor who can remove their pants while shifting from third to fourth gear.