In a nutshell: I’m a ridiculous crapologist with a Manhattan-style loft apartment and room for a second kidney.
In a larger nutshell: I was born in Tralee on Pentecost Sunday 1977. Until I was about six years old I thought that made me a saint. I have never quite recovered from the discovery that I am just as ordinary as everyone else despite my special birth date. Because of this I have spent the following twenty-four years trying to convince everyone that I am uniquely special. Sometimes they agree but never at the moments I would like and always for the wrong reasons.
Like every saint/superhero I have my nemeses. These are mainly royalty, paying to use public toilets in bars/clubs and kiwis (the fruit rather than the people). The latter has the power to kill me and has attempted this on three occasions.
I’m vegetarian and was born with only one kidney. I’m fairly sure these are not connected. I only found out a couple of years ago about the kidney deficiency – makes no difference physically but it’s an almighty fire starter if there’s a lull in conversation. It’s also good to bring up if anyone is being mean to me. Leave me alone – I only have one kidney! It’s still wholly unfair though, I feel short changed.
Conortje means little Conor. Not that I’m little. I’m average height, OK?
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