In a nutshell: I’m a ridiculous crapologist with a Manhattan-style loft apartment and room for a second kidney.


In a larger nutshell: I was born in Tralee on Pentecost Sunday 1977. Until I was about six years old I thought that made me a saint. I have never quite recovered from the discovery that I am just as ordinary as everyone else despite my special birth date. Because of this I have spent the following twenty-four years trying to convince everyone that I am uniquely special. Sometimes they agree but never at the moments I would like and always for the wrong reasons.

Like every saint/superhero I have my nemeses. These are mainly royalty, paying to use public toilets in bars/clubs and kiwis (the fruit rather than the people). The latter has the power to kill me and has attempted this on three occasions.

I’m vegetarian and was born with only one kidney. I’m fairly sure these are not connected.  I only found out a couple of years ago about the kidney deficiency – makes no difference physically but it’s an almighty fire starter if there’s a lull in conversation. It’s also good to bring up if anyone is being mean to me. Leave me alone – I only have one kidney! It’s still wholly unfair though, I feel short changed.

Conortje means little Conor. Not that I’m little. I’m average height, OK?

I was once an international rock megastar

Two hundred more nutshells!

e mail: conortje@gmail.com

16 responses

28 05 2007
Is it just me?

Just found the time to have a look at your blog.
Am lookinf forward to opening a bottle of red wine and sitting down with the laptop this evening.

1 06 2007
Johnny Logan

Hey Stinker,

Fun reading!! Good luck next week with your studies! Will miss you. -Remember to make another Kippenfoto van de maand!!

Liefs , Johnny Logan

5 02 2008
Enda Carey

I’ve been having a good ol’ laugh at your recent posts. Guinness may not travel well but Irish humour does.

Cheers, Enda

6 02 2008
Anna Bruce-Lockhart


Just to let you know that, sadly, due to corporate reshuffling the Guardian Abroad website has been closed down. The blogs listings are no longer live, which means that if you had a ‘Review my blog on Guardian Abroad’ button or any links, these are now directed to the Guardian Weekly website.
We’re very sorry for any inconvenience caused and would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your creative and much appreciated contribution to Guardian Abroad. Please come and have a look at the new site, and feel free to submit any ideas you have, either about the site or to do with ideas for articles.

Thanks and best wishes,
Anna Bruce-Lockhart
Site editor

28 04 2008

Arrived here via K8

But by Jesus, I dunno should I be reading all this at all, bringing to the front of my delicate brain the stuff I try to block out on a daily basis.

Funny stuff.

A fellow countryman, by host & by birth.

7 07 2008

Arrived here via xbox. Since it is only the fruit variety of Kiwis that are your nemeses: Greetings from New Zealand :) Great blog you have here. :)

22 07 2008

Your blog is fun. I like the way you word things. My blog is a mixture of serious and lighthearted. Perhaps you can visit sometime. I am into saving the world. Well, the best I can, through words and maybe deeds. My site is http://www.phenomenaltruths.wordpress.com. See ya!

8 08 2008

Nice blog. Your about-me is really well writen. :)

15 08 2008


Been reading through your posts, they are really well written and interesting!
Its totally helping me put off working for another hour(s)….
Would it be ok if I linked to your blog on mine? I’d like to keep up with your thoughts/adventures!


16 08 2008

Like the Irish humour :) I was told by my brother that I was not blessed by the Goddess of Learning as I was born on her day off….I guess I should have retorted saying I was doubly blessed?! ;)

17 08 2008

clair – of course, it’d be an honour :-)

apar – hehe brothers eh? I’m sure he’s just jealous really…

14 12 2008

Conor, was it your birthday just recently? I had to go and google pentecost and 1977 but I couldn’t figure out the exact date? When is your bd then?

15 12 2008

Gaye, I had my half-birthday at the end of November, that’s a hint :-)

2 04 2010
Jessica Harper

You write really well and I have enjoyed reading your blog.

19 09 2010

Hey there! I am new to your blog and I am excited to have a look around :)!

2 02 2014

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