Lost briefly became my favourite TV programme of all time. Not because I had finally figured out just what the hell was going on or because I was bowled over by the stunning performances (ahem!) by the actors. No, it was a much simpler reason. I used it in my most successful chat-up line ever.
I usually don’t bother with chat-up lines. In fact I have a strict policy of never talking to strangers I fancy and instead completely ignore them while saying silent prayers that they’ll miraculously come to me. Needless to say that has been hugely unsuccessful to date. Last week though I broke the habit of a lifetime. Egged on by my Occasionally Holy Friend and my other good chum Mr Heineken, I boldly swayed over to my target and announced that ‘You look just like Jack from Lost’. And he really did, which explains why my heart was a thump thumping the whole time. Even though this was a spectacularly stupid thing to say he didn’t laugh in my face or turn his back and so I spent the rest of the night with a look of complete disbelief on my face as we chatted away. It turned out that Jack was as sweet as a button and apparently liked me too. As I left his place on an incredibly sunny Friday morning I really couldn’t believe my luck. And I still couldn’t believe it an hour later when I got a text saying that he wanted to see me again soon. I went straight to the printers to order the wedding invitations.
Over the next couple of days we swapped sweet texts until Tuesday morning when I received one saying ‘When can I see you?’. I waited an appropriate two hours before replying to show I wasn’t ridiculously desperate (yeah, I know – who am I fooling). And since then I have heard nothing. Absolutely nothing! After two days I sent another, just in case the mean text underworld had stolen my message. 24 hours from that – still nothing. So now I’m left wondering if I dreamt last week? Was he abducted by Lost loving aliens? If he wasn’t interested then why bother with all those texts? Is he trying to be as enigmatic as his look-alike?
I suppose it’s for the best really. The world probably isn’t ready for a Frodo/Jack match. Besides, my friends would probably have ended up calling me Kate. I’m off to drown my sorrows in whatever substance has the highest alcohol content. And I suppose I’d better drop into the printers to cancel that order.
Conortje 
Don’t give up hope yet, Conor, it’s only three days later! He might be frantically busy and not able to reply. After all, he sounded very interested up till then. He’s probably totally smitten by the beard!
Maybe he’s growing a classy beard of his own and doesn’t want to see you until it’s past designer stubble stage… don’t give up just yet!
nick – three very long days – in fact now it is four!! Smitten left after day one 😦
catherine – hehe well he could at least tell me he’s still alive and busy growing hair or the like
text him again, don’t be such a girl. what’s the worst that could happen?
I have already texted him twice without response – texting him again would be verging on stalkerville don’t you think. I really think I have to let this one go ;-(
His loss Conortje! Even with his Jack-like looks there’s no excuse for bad manners.
Why not call him? If you rely on text you will always wonder if he got the text okay, if it was something you wrote in your text blah blah.
If you call him you can just ask when you can meet. If he doesn’t pick up or fobs you off you have your answer without waiting in purgatory.
yvonne – exactly – why it have killed him to simply answer? regardless of what he would say
aidan – Oh dear you’re confronting me with logic and sense. These things require courage. You are certainly right but I’m not sure if I can do that. Gulp!
Aidan’s right. Go on, call him, then at least you’ll know the truth one way or the other.
Hmmm. I don’t watch ‘Lost’ but apparently chat-up lines involving the phrase “You look like …. from ‘Lost'” are a winner at the moment. One of my colleagues is floating around the office because he was told he looked like the doctor. It doesn’t matter that the flirtee was a woman and that he is gay, he’s chuffed all the same.
nick – I’m not sure I want to hear the truth 🙂 We’ll see… I’d definitely need to have a drink first though and if it goes to voicemail I know I’ll only end up leaving an embarrassing message
red – hehe the doctor is Jack, which now makes me wonder if your colleague was in The Hague last weekend and if so can you ask him to call me. Actually even if he wasn’t – ask him to call me anyway 🙂
god DAMN it i hate stories like this. why do people do this??? my friend erik told me a similar story. his friend C met a guy, spent the night, had a great time, and then the same thing happened…. the guy ignored C’s texts for a day or two, and then texted him back and made an allusion to how great the sex had been….and mentioned a sex act that, um, he and C had not yet um achieved.
poor C.
poor you.
stupid men who toy with people!!!
don’t feel sad, conor. get mad!
Until I read your response to red I believed Jack was the big guy with the comedy hair who managed to lose no weight at all despite being on a desert (not dessert) island.
Call him, call him, call him.
Watch out with drinking too much before the call. One for Dutch courage might quickly turn in to blabbing in to the voicemail and immediately forgetting what you said. That will then be much more torture than waiting for a text back. You might start ringing to apologize his voicemail for leaving a voicemail the contents of which you are unsure of but regret anyway.
On second thoughts, in computer code IF voicemail THEN put down phone immediately END IF.
“I usually don’t bother with chat-up lines. In fact I have a strict policy of never talking to strangers I fancy and instead completely ignore them while saying silent prayers that they’ll miraculously come to me.” – Yeah, I do this. Bad habit. Doesn’t work. Ever. 😛
clearly he’s had his phone stolen though.
laurie – love your comment! and you’re right, I will allow myself get a little mad!
gimme – good grief, well now you have refined your idea of my taste hehe
aidan – The thought of ringing himis frightening. I mean if he was interested he would have contacted me – it’s surely as simple as that no? I’d happily ring his voicemail and hang up though 🙂
robert – so let this be a lesson – sometime going up and chatting to someone works! At least for one night anyways hehe
red – or perhaps he’s died! I’d accept that as an excuse too. Still waiting for your colleague to call by the way….
go back to the bar you met him in and look all cool and nonchalant if he turns up … not much to lose and might meet someone else….
reminds me of the guy I met who told me he’d call me after he got over his flu illness.
Poor bastard must be dying of the fecking flu.
Oh dear, this reminds me of that dreadful book that was all the rage amongst the Oprah brigade some time ago “He’s Just Not That Into You”.
Now, put on that vest, go down the beach, take the vest off again and get another one!
karen – lots such a bad idea at all….I like it 🙂
alan – well let’s hope it’s nothing trivial as Mr Fawlty said
enda – or the sequel ‘He’s Just a rude prick’. I like your advice though – pity the weather has turned…..
Rather than seeing yourself as Frodo, perhaps you should be thinking more along the lines of Sawyer. You’ve got the beard. You’ve got the vest.
And there’s no way that Sawyer and Jack would make a happy couple.
Quite frankly, your Jack doesn’t know what he’s missing.
And I couldn’t possibly allow you to go out with him if he has such dreadful manners.
I reckon you put him through such mental agony during that 2 hours wait that he couldn’t handle it and did something stupid.
You have a lot to answer for young man.
“I have a strict policy of never talking to strangers I fancy and instead completely ignore them while saying silent prayers that they’ll miraculously come to me”
how very Irish of you. I use the same system, even when I’m with Mr. Guinness. Not with Mr. Sambuka though-he’s a man of action
miss Jaegerbomb has a similar effect on me – though i usually end up talking to/at people i know and fancy rather than strangers, which is much more embarrassing the next day.
Maybe you put out too soon? But then if he does look like Jack then I don’t really blame you…
I agree on the ‘you can’t text him again’ thing though.
I once went on a dreadful date (not that yours was) with a dreadful man (not that you are), and afterwards he wouldn’t take no for an answer so I started to ignore his texts.
Three days later I got another text saying “Did I shit on your carpet or something?”
Classy. I’m presuming you didn’t….?
You’re right. Don’t text him again. he’s a fool.
You’re right. Don’t text him again. He’s a fool. grrr
Conor – on a completely unrelated subject, I did a post on man boobs and someone’s asking whether man boobs are generally attractive to gay men! Have you any thoughts on this one??
jovica – if I am going to be Sawyer I really need to join a gym
xbox – and I really had to force myself to wait for those two hours to pass
rua – we’ll have to chnage our ways 🙂
rosie – you see maybe this is a bigger problem than we think – if everyone is scared to talk to those they fancy only the confidant ones will ever get anywhere
travelling – urghhh I can’t believe he said that – a lucky escape for you!
townygirl – ummm I did, at 4am on Saturday morning. Gulp!
nick – hehehe I’m speechless for once 😉
I might be a little late coming in on this one but I’d say delete his number. Nothing like personal bitterness to help get over being spurned. If he’s that good, he’ll coming a-looking for you. Seriously*
* may not match users’ real experience. Terms and conditions apply.
ne’ermind my lovely. we’ve all done it. i’m with 73man, delete his number now. onward and upwards an’ all that
Huh? Jack enigmatic? No, he’s just a git.
Ugh! What a total moron! He clearly is not deserving of a nice lad as your self my dear.
It’s not quite come to it for me just yet but I’m trying to take up the mantra of “easy come, easy go” as this will avert possible future pain. Want to join me? We could start our own club!
Happens to the best of us, darling. Dust yourself off and move on to the next best guy that comes along! Life’s too short to wait for a text…go and get them tiger.
73man – hehe that’s brilliant – I almost did delete his number many times… almost
townygirl – I think I should get a breathaliser block for mine
thrift – yeah, you’re right – but the real one and ‘my’ one 🙂
newbie – I’m definitely in – United We’ll Stand!! Or something …
DeaFulgora – I just purred. Honestly I did 😉