Toys for Boys

There’s always one story that gets dragged up again and again at family get-togethers isn’t there? The story that’s rolled out most often to disgrace you in front of innocent civilian friends.  Having been a rather inventive young boy I have acquired more than enough to offer my all too eager family members a large healthy stock to choose from. There’s one that we always seem to come back to though – no matter how hard I try and remain calm and nonchalant during its telling.

When I was about five years old a rare opportunity presented itself to me. The house was quiet and sadly none of my millions of sisters were about to terrorise. With my main raison d’être unavailable I decided to explore my sister’s room and try and discover some secrets with which I could use to bribe her later.  It was thoroughly disappointing – my sister was obviously highly skilled at hiding any incriminating evidence. My exploration wasn’t entirely in vain though as I stumbled across some special sports devices (there was a picture of a girl playing tennis on the box) that would solve one of my recent nagging problems. My new pair of shoes was just a tad too large for my tiny feet. Being able to move about quickly is essential in a large family believe me – emergency getaways being an integral factor in survival of the fittest. My new discovery was exactly the right size to place in my shoes and provide me finally with the perfect fit. Even better they came with a special sticky side so they wouldn’t move around in my shoe. These really were the perfect insoles.  

The house was never quiet for long and pretty soon sisters flooded back in and I had to hastily abandon my plan to make a cunning map of my sister’s room. I didn’t think any more of the day’s adventures but about a week later my mother made a most unusual discovery of her own. While tidying away the usual detritus we left everywhere were my two perfectly fitting shoes. She was utterly baffled and astonished to look inside them to find a sanitary towel neatly stuck into each shoe. A child genius I was I reckon!